The partying was great, the grades maybe not so great. But now you have to get serious. Have a plan that can have flexibility and still allow fun. But have a plan. If you have not heard it yet, you will hear it again and again thru out the next several years……”Fail to plan….plan to fail!”
And it is the truth.
These college years are going to go by so fast, and you will be getting your diploma and your college payments sooner than expected. Maybe it is graduate school right away. Most companies want you to wait a little before getting it, but I know a lot of students that went directly into “Grad” school and did just fine.
But May will be here, and your grades will have impact. As will the knowledge you have learned.
If the partying remains consistent at your school (Tuesday, Thursday, Friday & Saturday) as it does at many; consider slowing it down….a little. Moderation really does work.
Have fun making new relationships.
Try not to get married right out of college. You may be so very much in love….but let some time past. Travel…..play….save…..and do it again. And then do it again. Take care of yourself first….learn about you, so that when you do share your life….make it a life that is fulfilled, and has an abundance of experiences to share with someone.
Believe it or not, those mid term tests are almost here. I have a great technique that will help you remember more and feel less angst when taking your tests. Here is the best way to remember more….
Whenever you are studying, always break it into 20 to 25 increments. Then take a 3 to 5 minute break…come back…sit down and study again for another 20 to 25 minutes. You can do this for 3 or 4 hours….if you need that much time to remember the data.
But this technique does work and you can change your patterns. I know, I know you have always studied like a marathoner…..into the night and staggering into class with all your freshly read data…but WHY beat yourself up so much.
Just this small change can improve your scores….and your GPA.
Try it you’ll like it and the results that you get.
Call me into your college, so I can speak directly to your group to make even more “win-win” changes!
School will go by way toooooo fast. You’ll find out. Why not make it a better experience. Technically you are there to learn…..remember more, and test easier. Now that is awesome.
Ever question how your friends really feel about you? Sometimes, the truth is that your friends can change. Maybe the chemistry just isn’t there anymore.
Remember, you really need only ONE BEST FRIEND….all the rest can be acquaintances that you can hang with.
A really good, good friend will be there with you….when it seems that the rest of the world has walked out on you.
I have a sign in my kitchen that says…..” A good friend will be there when you call….but a GREAT friend will be sitting next to you in the cell saying “Damn that was fun!”
Not that great fun has to go to that extent…but it is kinda cool.
I still have my best friends from elementary school. You can show up at any time, anywhere in the country and even though months have passed…it will seem like you just saw them.
They are always there for you….anytime and anyplace.
But you have got to work at having friends. What you want from a friend is also what you have to put into a friendship. It is a two way street.
Make sure you are listening when they talk.
Be a great listener. And don’t comment right away. Sometimes a friend just needs and wants to talk.
Learn to be quiet.
Learn to listen.
Genuinely listen….and then respond.
Also learn to RESPOND NOT REACT!
Be the friend you want to be…that is the best friend YOU could ask for.
What you will get in return, will be a safe place that you can go to anytime.
The TV show “Friends” was a great show….how would you place your friends….if you were the casting agent?
Think about it.
It should bring a smile to your face.
Better yet….listen to Bette Midlers song……”But you gotta have friends”
It’s a great song to listen to with YOUR friends.
Keep Smiling,
Wanting to be accepted as you move into a new room or new dormitory is your priority. You simply
WANT TO FIT IN! Everybody wants to be able to feel good about themselves. Are you judging yourself too harshly.
We really can beat ourselves up…and no one can do it as well as ourselves! Give yourself the complete permission to be yourself. BREATHE IT IN….LET IT GO….BREATHE IT IN AGAIN…AND BE FRIENDLY…and BE YOURSELF.
My first roommate smoked cigars in the room and got away with it…..but when she took my clothes and wore them, was TOO MUCH. She was 5 ft. 1″ and I’m 5′ 10″. Now c’mon, that is quite a height difference. She simply had the “balls” to take what she wanted and NOT care about the repercussions.
I left that roommate after 1 semester. Some things are simply not meant to work out.
With the pressure of classes, homework, money, acceptance & (rejection)….you’ve got a lot on your plate to handle.
If it is bothering you, what is taking place all around….write it down and shred it. No one needs to know about your angst….but you’ll feel better by writing it and shredding. In a way you got it off your chest and out of your mind. Hey this REALLY WORKS!
Seriously try this, it will give you a calmness and clarity to stay focused. By staying focused you will be more at ease to accept new relationships, and let go of ones that you simply don’t need anymore.
Stay true to you. You’ll feel better and so will the people in your life!
So the partying has begun, or for some is over with. Have you done anything you regret…..or was it a blast. New friends, new relationships, broken hearts, texting and memories.
Did you fall in love or just in lust for all that just out there for the taking.
Enjoy the memories, but you gotta realize that extensive, intense partying has dues that have to be paid.
Not just the physical stuff, but sometimes the repercussions from it.
If you had a great time, and enjoyed everyday….then you were in the majority. But some will find themselves pregnant. (Gosh, how did that happen?)
Some will have been hurt in car crashes from the drinking or even kidnapped in Mexico. The stories are real and some are daunting.
Moderation is still the key word to all of this. You CAN have a great time….but pace yourself. This is a once in a lifetime experience. Make it work for you.
Enjoy the memories….and share the photo’s on facebook….and look forward to next year…..in moderation!
It seems that somedays things go extremely well, and fall into place. Friendships are strong, grades are doing pretty good, and classes actually make sense.
Possible new relationships seem to be working in the right way.
I mean it really is falling into place.
AND THEN……..IT THEN IT TANKS FAST!!!
Either a grade lower than you expected.
Or a phone wasn’t returned…..or you got bad news from somewhere. It simply sucks quickly.
You gotta regroup, and rethink it through….without beating yourself up.
Ask your friend or teacher if they have a
few minutes.
Be candid, and ask directly the issue at hand.
Otherwise you will be stuck.
You can even find yourself sinking fast.
Oprah has a Friday LIVE session where several topics are brought up.
Chris Brown and Rhiana (a.k.a. Robin)
decided to go back to the guy who beat the crap out of her less than a month ago.
That is how quickly life can turn for you or on you.
It happened to me. One year my Mom died and I was in an abusive relationship. I was only 22….just like Rhiana.
Let me know if you would have gone back to Chris. Probably you have heard that if “he hit you once….he will surely hit you again!”
(That too happened to me…it really is scary, and messes with your confidence, beyond belief.)
Oprah is not positive about the image that this young singer is showing other young women.
The fact is 1 in 4 young women will be physically, verbally or sexually abused between their late teens and late 20’s.
Take stock in yourself….don’t become a statistic.
There is no one like you…no one!!!
Your confidence in yourself can change on a daily basis. If someone talked behind your back, and you got word of it….first off you are worried, or scared and then you begin to think it through again and again. Why would someone talk about me that way?
Why would they talk about me behind their back? What did I ever do to them?
And the self doubt and worry begins. You question yourself and what you could have done that would have rectified it. You think it through again, and again and again. What did I do wrong?
Why doesn’t he/she call? Should I call them or just put it up on my facebook wall?
This is a normal process of questioning yourself. Sometimes you do it daily and sometimes you might even do it hourly…if you are in fear of approaching someone.
All of this comes back to the fact of believing in yourself and how you personally feel about yourself. How you look, act and present yourself to others….is an ongoing journey of growth and change. There is no right way or wrong way. These are just opportunities to find out what worked at that point in time.
The trial by error is sometimes the best learning lesson. WHOA! I sure am not going to do that one again.
So you back off….regroup your thoughts. Talk it over with someone….look in the mirror and realize that you can start that conversation again. Maybe with someone else.
Backing off out of fear will cripple you in the long run.
Believe in yourself, in your quiet moments and in your public moments.
Continue to take uncomfortable steps in a new direction.
It probably will “suck” each any everytime you try it, but it will make you more confident in yourself the next time you try it.
Choose not to be your own worst enemy.
Write down what you want.
Say what you want.
Believe in what you want.
And GO GET IT!
Your confidence in yourself can change on a daily basis. If someone talked behind your back, and you got word of it….first off you are worried, or scared and then you begin to think it through again and again. Why would someone talk about me that way?
Why would they talk about me behind their back? What did I ever do to them?
And the self doubt and worry begins. You question yourself and what you could have done that would have rectified it. You think it through again, and again and again. What did I do wrong?
Why doesn’t he/she call? Should I call them or just put it up on my facebook wall?
This is a normal process of questioning yourself. Sometimes you do it daily and sometimes you might even do it hourly…if you are in fear of approaching someone.
All of this comes back to the fact of believing in yourself and how you personally feel about yourself. How you look, act and present yourself to others….is an ongoing journey of growth and change. There is no right way or wrong way. These are just opportunities to find out what worked at that point in time.
The trial by error is sometimes the best learning lesson. WHOA! I sure am not going to do that one again.
So you back off….regroup your thoughts. Talk it over with someone….look in the mirror and realize that you can start that conversation again. Maybe with someone else.
Backing off out of fear will cripple you in the long run.
Believe in yourself, in your quiet moments and in your public moments.
Continue to take uncomfortable steps in a new direction.
It probably will “suck” each any everytime you try it, but it will make you more confident in yourself the next time you try it.
Choose not to be your own worst enemy.
Write down what you want.
Say what you want.
Believe in what you want.
And GO GET IT!
For those of you who watched the show, you must have seen the hurt and confusion of these teens. They have been hiding and burying their emotions with food. So many of us do that anyway.
Comfort food is called that for a reason!
As one of the teens guys was saying, if one plate of food doesn’t hide the hurt, maybe the 2nd or 3rd will do it.
Food can be quite a seduction.
Many of us are quite guilty of reaching for it when we are rejected, confused, hurt, unsure or just plain lonely. Oprah brought on Dr. Oz and two other therapists, who work with distraught teens.
In my presentations at StrongIncentives, I show people thru training and hypnosis, how they can take control of “emotional eating.”
Maybe you have heard the sentence, “It’s not what you’re eating it’s what’s eating at you!”
Since I am working on a book, dealing with confidence and issues at high school and college and even in the workforce….I would like to hear from you.
I will offer my own CD for free to the first 10 people who respond with their comments regarding eating and how it controls them.
You can see my CD’s at my website EileenStrong.com. They are for sale at $14.99, but this is my gift to you for your response.
Be a part of a great book and get your opinion recognized.
You may not be on the Oprah show, but your story may get printed.
Interested???
Life constantly is taking a toll on our confidence. Whether we are anxious about taking a test; going for a job interview…or hoping for a new and better relationship.
It is amazing how quickly it can be chipped away at. You feel good about yourself, and then a lousy test grade, or a sentence made from a professor or a peer, quickly crumbles us.
Each day, you need to give yourself the permission, literally…positive permission on how you will respond in a specific conversation. Practice the conversation in the mirror (privately) so that you truly do feel comfortable with the sentences you are going to say. Letting your emotions control you, will override what you MEANT to say. Practicing what you want to say will truly make a difference. Write it out what you intend to say to that person. THINK it through…as you see yourself in the conversation. So frequently we simply plow forward….thinking that we will be in control when we say it. This simply does not happen. Someone interrupts us, or something happens during the conversation that threw you for a “loop.”
Then we beat ourselves up, later on thinking “why did I say that?”
You know that has happened to you….as it has happened to me.
By practicing and feeling confident on what we intend to say….will truly allow this to take place. Stay focused, practice and reap the benefits of doing this simple technique. Better yet, if you do it at least SIX times, your response will be exactly what you had wanted! THIS WORKS!
Allow your emotions to stay in control, and the benefits are all yours!
I speak on this journey of confidence at colleges, sororities, fraternities, social groups. My company StrongIncentives.com
speaks from experience. With these incredible life lessons, I have been dubbed The Attitude Amazon!
I truly want to help you “rock” your attitude with gratitude! At nearly 6ft. tall and the last name of Strong…I chose to make it work. So can YOU!
Keepin the attitude…The Attitude Amazon
Your confidence in yourself can change on a daily basis. If someone talked behind your back, and you got word of it….first off you are worried, or scared and then you begin to think it through again and again. Why would someone talk about me that way?
Your confidence in yourself can change on a daily basis. If someone talked behind your back, and you got word of it….first off you are worried, or scared and then you begin to think it through again and again. Why would someone talk about me that way?
For those of you who watched the show, you must have seen the hurt and confusion of these teens. They have been hiding and burying their emotions with food. So many of us do that anyway.
Life constantly is taking a toll on our confidence. Whether we are anxious about taking a test; going for a job interview…or hoping for a new and better relationship.